Share Your Story
“We welcome you to share your story with other visitors here in our guestbook.” — Alexa and Courtney
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Courtney, I will support you and the ACHE foundation however I can. You’re truly amazing and you’ll go a long long way in helping to make sure that no one has to suffer this heartache.
Love Always,
Centimeter :]
When I was 15 my mother was intutionalized and I went to live with foster parents. They were a young couple with four small children. They didn’t really have room for me and so I lived in a corner of their unfinished basement. They were kind especially the mother and I grew to love them and their children deeply. The father was intelligent, interesting and a talented musician. He was not only a father figure but he became a hero to me. I know now, that he was grooming me, as most sexual predators do.
One night he raped me on the living room sofa with his hand over my mouth telling me not to wake his sleeping daughters. For years after that he dominated my life with threats that he would tell his wife or his children that I was some kind of Lolita who had seduced him. I tried to leave many times but ended back in his basement. He controlled my friends, my work and even my car. If I got too close to anyone, he would call them up and “As my foster father who was looking out for me….” he would send them away.
For decades I blamed myself. I thought that I had caused him to act that way. That there was something bad in my character. It has taken a lifetime to realize that this “respectable church going man” was a villain, not me.
I recently learned that he is working with young girls again. This gives me nightmares. He should under no circumstances be allowed an authority role with young girls. What should I do?
I saw alexa and courtneys story on the montel williams show. And it made me want to share my story on here, cause i want to make a difference in someones life and let them know that they arent the only ones that have been sexually abused. I was ten years old and i was raped by one of my friends older brother. and i never told anyone about it because he threatned me that he would hurt me and my family if i ever told anyone. so i kept it a secret for a about a year, my life completly changed i never wanted to go to my friends house, i was scared to go to school, i would freak out if someone touched me in a certain way. I wasnt the same person anymore but i didnt feel like myself and someone people noticed it and they would ask me what was wrong and i was just tell them that i was having family problems. then i was helping this girl babysit my neighbors and she asked me what school i went to and i told her i went to john evans and she told me to stay away from jessica and i asked her why and she that her older brother had molested her. I immediatley started crying and she asked me what was wrong and i told her what had happened to me. and she told me that i needed to tell someone but i told her i couldnt because i was scared that he would hurt me or my family. she told me he wouldnt touch me or hurt me again if i told someone. so i finally told my mom and stephanie ( the girl i helped babysit) helped me tell my mom. that day i felt so much better that i finally told someone and that i wasnt alone. I want to join A.C.H.E. foundation im going to buy a braclet. i really want to help a child come out and just let them know that there not alone and that they have someone that will support them and let them know that what happened to them wasnt there fault. Thank you courtney and alexa for sharing your story and telling everyone about this foundation.
We need to find a way to help children who have reason to be too terrified to tell. I was molested by my father. He was physically violent. My mother was harsh, critical, hostile and made me feel like a criminal just for being a kid. There was no way I was going to tell her I was being molested. Both my parents made all their children feel like ‘bad kids.’ It’s very difficult for a child programmed to feel like a bad person to tell on their parents. I felt like I was the bad one. My parents made me feel like I deserved the harsh treatment they dished out. If I had told, which I didn’t until I was 19 and no longer living at ‘home’, I would’ve have been terrified to go back to that house, and I had no where else to go.
Many children don’t have the kind of mother who will believe and support them. I didn’t. If I had gone to the police, wouldn’t they have needed some kind of proof? I didn’t have proof. There’s a good chance I would’ve been sent back to that house, with those psycho parents, even if I had told.
It’s not enough to tell children to ‘tell’. The children who have to live in the same house with a violent child molester and a non-protective mother need more guidance than that. Their lives are at stake.
Hi. i too am a victim of sexual abuse. im still living in fear of telling anyone even though it all stopped about 5 years ago. my mom knows, but i dont think she took me seriously. i feel as though i relate to Alexa and Courtney dramatically. i know Robert Shawler. i worked with him once he got out of jail. i didnt know who he was or what he was capable at the time. i found out everything about him after he left the company. i would love to get in touch with Alexa and Courtney and be an active memeber of A.C.H.E. They have created something amazing here. far beyond what i thought anyone was capable of. good job girls.
Alexa and Courtney I just want to tell you how amazingly strong I think you both are. I watched you when you were on the Montel Williams show, and my heart just went out to both of you. I can’t put into words how wonderful it is that you have created this foundation to try to help others. I sent for a bracelet a couple months back, but had never heard anything back.. and then the other day I got a nice hand written note saying they weren’t sure I had ever received my bracelet, which I hadn’t, but I was NOT going to complain… but I was sent a few extra bracelets to give to other people, that was SO nice! I LOVE having a bracelet that says “Stronger Now” because I know that I am! It has taken me a long time though, but I know now that I am getting stronger and healing more and more every day. I was molested by my Uncle when I was 7-8 years old. Because my parents were pretty much total messes back then, my Uncle was my favorite person in my family, I trusted him more than probably anyone else on earth… and then he molested me. I don’t even know how to describe what that did to me emotionally… I know I was VERY messed up, for VERY many years… I still have some struggles, but I think I handle them and worth through them better now. The one thing that drives me NUTS is the whole “you need to get over it” mentality that I get from everyone in my family. Believe me, I would LOVE to just snap my fingers and be over it.. but it does not work that way! My mom has 3 cousins who were all molested by their father (my mom’s uncle) and I have yet to hear ANYONE tell them they just need to get over it. It is this HUGE double standard… it was SO terrible what happened to them… but me, oh I just need to get over it. That is probably the thing I struggle with the most right now is the anger I feel in that situation. I don’t even like being around them because of it, even though it is not their fault. I don’t think anyone realizes what a life long struggle it becomes after you have been molested. I so very much wish I had TOLD someone WHEN I was being molested instead of waiting until I was 18 years old. It was actually thanks to Montel Williams that I told. I was watching his show one day, and it was about molestation/incest and something inside me just SNAPPED and I freaked out and called my mom at work and made her come home so I could tell her what had happened. She confronted her brother, who of course denied it. But then the next day he went to my grandma and admitted it. And do you know what the woman had the NERVE to say to me… “It couldn’t have possibly been THAT bad.” I still have major issues with my grandmother because of that one statement. I am 33 years old now, and while I don’t necessarily consider it an EVERY day struggle right now, it still is always there just around the corner waiting for something to happen to trigger me. So to anyone who hasn’t told… TELL! The sooner the better!!! I think the sooner you tell, the sooner you can start working through things and healing. I can’t stress enough how much I wish I had told a LOT earlier than I did. I wish you all much strength and love!
I can’t really stand to read other people’s stories because of how painful it is to know just how common this is. I also was molested when I was about 5 years old by a neighbor. I struggle a lot with feelings of guilt and shame. Although I’ve come a long way I still have a lot to work through. I really really admire and encourage you two young ladies who started this site. We need so many more outlets for people like us to speak without feeling judged or afraid. We need a voice to be heard and not thrown in the back burner as though there is no life long struggle for people who have gone through something so traumatic. I pray for all of us who are struggling with these experiences and looking for answers. For those who feel they are to blame in some way and for those who want to be whole. I know one day I will have the courage to tell my story without being afraid of being judged. And I look forward to that day. I know it will allow someone else to begin to heal. Just like this site will help me take another step forward. Thank you and God Bless You and every single person who shares their story.
After seeing the segment on GMA this morning, I am so glad to see how these girls are speaking out. I, too, like so many women and men, was molested as a child. I did not speak the words until I was 29 years old, and that was the beginning of my healing. (I may have told my mother when it happened; she says no. But my mother has a pattern of hiding things that are uncomfortable or terrible. It is most likely that she too was molested as a child. All the signs are there.) I now know I was a target for any child molester due to my parents, like so many others then and now, not knowing how to instill boundaries in me. Way before anyone ever touches you inappropriately, you sense danger. The molester tests you many times before he ever lays a hand on you. That is why I try to teach people boundaries. I have volunteered at a women’s shelter for 8 years to try to reach back to the community. It is only through truth and knowledge that this will stop. It sickens me to read the part of that man’s trial where his friends wrote about his “good character.” Many abusive people are the charismatic type where a lot of people do think highly of them. That is only because they are not good judges of character and are naive. It takes a lot of courage to do what those girls did. If anyone would like to start up a boundaries class or read about my story, contact me at http://www.religiousexperience.net. Thanks and have a blessed day.
I absolutely applaud you for this website. I’m actually 39 now but had my own experience with a male babysitter when I was about 8 years old. Nobody believed me because he was such a “nice” young man. I was even forced to attend a going away dinner at his house when his family all of a sudden decided to move out of the area in which again, he used that as an opportunity to show me himself naked with my parents right in the other room. As I found out later, his family moved out of the area because there were many more complaints of children in the neighborhood all with the same story. I’m not sure whatever happened to him or where they went. I almost wish I knew but then again I was happy he was gone.
Back then, there was no internet. There were no support groups. There was nowhere for me to go and talk about this or to get help. You are some very strong girls for putting your stories out there and allowing others to do the same. I am so pleased with the advances in how these cases are handled but it takes the courage of a young girl to actually speak up even when everyone tries to say you’re crazy or just trying to get someone in trouble.
For me, it was swept under the rug, so to speak. For anyone going through these same things and now reading these blogs and other people’s stories, if you’re afriad to come forward or to call for help when you’re being abused in ANY way, pease, please, know that you are NOT alone. Know that there IS help for you and that someone WILL listen.
I saw you girls on Montel the other day and decieded to check out the website . While reading some of the things that other victims had to say about what happened to them I wanted to tell my story.
When I was nine I found out through I guess a therapist, that my dad had molested me as a two year old and my older sister as a seven year old. My mom sent me(age 9) and my sister(age 13) to see a therapist to see if we could remember, but we had repressed the memory as most victims do. My mom and dad divorced but because he was an physically abusive towards my mother. I still had seen my dad without my mom knowing what he did to me. Although he wasn’t supposed to he would give me a bath and thats where the abuse would happen. The last time he had ever laid his hands on me was my second Christmas. I had told my mom that it was hurting when I had tried to use the bathroom she called in my aunt and my sister and asked my sister if he ever touched her and she said yes. The next day she took us to the doctor and it was confirmed. When I was seven my mom married my stepdad and he adopted me, but when my mom called my dad to sign over his rights my mom said something about what he did and he said that he had enjoyed doing it, thankfully he signed over his rights and I now have a loving fater figure that would never hurt me or my mom. I am now 15 years old and living my life, although sometimes I have dreams about my dad, I’m slowly learning to deal and try and get better I know I can’t do it alone so I’m glad that I have such a great family and amazing friends.
Hello my name is janaye and i got raped by my family member, he was my brother-in-law and i was 14 turning 15 when all this happened. I hate this asshole and he knows he made me suffer from all this WE ALL HATE HIM!!!!!!
I heard its good to tell about your problems and feelings to people you know and trust and i found this website on Montel and my mom told me to come on here and i did and this is helping me a lot and i can’t believe that this is how many people this happened to and i am very sorry and we won’t forget about this but my consulor said it would leave a scar inside you but you could live on with a better life after all this.
Thanks for all your help through this.
(i am almost alright)
I never was molested but I will like to say all you girls and boys who shared your story know that you became strong and still are strong. Alexa and Courtney you two girls are very brave and I encourage others to come foward with there story because your not alone and you may save other from being molested.
–Sarah
i’m so over joyed to know that you both went out and speak what had happen I know it was not easy but you both did and i’m proud too say so. I’m a 18 year old girl who was molested but DAD AND HIS ASSOCIATED, UNCEL AND OTHERS who are related to my sister family but not me. All this tookplace between the age of 8-15,16 and i never told anynoe apart from a guy who seem like he will help me. i would love for one day to speak out i need help, keep doing the good work.
First of all, I want to commend Courtney and Alexa for their courage, strength and obvious wisdom-beyond-their-years for disclosing their cases of molestation as well as founding this organization! God is using your young lives in a powerful way, and I know how proud your families must be of both of you! May God continue to bless you both!
That being said, I am the mother of a most handsome 13-year-old son and a beautiful 8-year-old daughter. Just 4 short months ago, my daughter (after some bizarre behavior taking place on her part) finally disclosed to me that my step-dad – her “Pappy” – touched her more than once in her “private area.” While I tried to remain calm and positive so that I could get her to tell me as many details as she would, I was dying inside! He was my “dad” since I was 8 – I’m now 44 years old! How could a man that I was raised with, I trusted, and most importantly, trusted to care for my children, do such a dispicable thing to his precious granddaughter?! It is bad enough to be molested by a total stranger, but to have someone who you love, trust and respect take advantage of an innocent child, it’s enough to push you “over the edge.”
As a mom, it is my responsibility to be sure my children are loved, cared for and protected, and I felt like I failed at the latter two things! Parents, don’t we tell our children to not keep secrets from us? Don’t we teach our children that NO ONE touches their private parts for any reason? Don’t we teach our children that if they find themselves in a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable, they should tell us or another trusted adult?? Shame on anyone who would not believe their child! I will admit that my husband and I weren’t sure if what she told us was true at first (she has a very wild imagination)…..BUT, after spending hours praying over the situation and having that motherly “gut-wrenching” feeling that something was definitely wrong, I knew we needed to do something. Luckily, we have a wonderful pastor who advised us to seek help – I was NOT going to be a parent who didn’t believe my daughter’s allegations, 8 years old or not! We also have been taking her to a counselor, who is actually the one who confirmed to us that she totally believed her story and she had no doubt in her mind that what she disclosed really did happen. The counselor is the one who reported my step-dad to our local Children & Youth Services. On a side note, at the beginning of the school year, someone came into my daughter’s 3rd grade class with the book “Good Touch/Bad Touch” and spoke about the importance of telling someone of any type of incident – I think that could be what triggered her telling me about her Pappy. I applaud the author(s) of that book for not only writing it, but making it accessible in our schools! It could be what made the difference in my daughter’s life! THANK YOU!
Long story short, after sharing with a very close family member what our daughter told me, I found out that this same person had also in-appropriately touched her daughter when she was younger – another relative! Who knows how many people he has done this to – I’ve often wondered if he did anything to me as a child. I have no idea – I’ve blocked out several years of my childhood, which, I’ve been told, is a good indication that some sort of abuse may have occurred. One thing that really pushed me into seeking help for our daughter was the thought that my younger brother and his wife would have more children, and what if they have a little girl (they have one little boy) – she could be his next victim and I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night or forgive myself if that happened because we did nothing!
I think our daughter will be ok in time and with continued counseling throughout the next several years. Time heals all wounds, and God is our greatest healer!
I urge any person reading this – child, teenager, adult – to please seek help from a trusted adult! If the first one doesn’t believe you, go to another one! Go to anyone, but PLEASE GO! I won’t lie – it’s not an easy road to travel for a little while, but victims and their families need to get these predators off the streets!! Remember, too, that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG – the abuser did!!
Good luck and may God Bless all who read this!
I am a adult woman still dealing with what happened to me when I was a child. Anything could trigger the flashbacks, it really sucks for me and for a long time I felt like it was trapping me. I learned to deal with it and block out the bad memories of the physical abuse, mental abuse and sexual abuse that had happened to me as a child.It sucked because I was getting so good at the blocking out of the bad stuff that I started to block everything out, even the good memeories . My dad sexually abused me and my big sister(we are 11months apart), and he physically abused us all.He would mentally abuse us too, tell me I was not beautiful and I would never marry or have and one in my life when i get older. He told me I would die alone. At the time I believed him.
I know the sexual abuse was taken lightly on me and more on my sisters because of the stories my sister tells me. It wast fun growing up in a poor family and to top it off an abusive one. the abuse happened for years and years. I think I was 6 when it started. My sister told my mom and she slapped her and said it was a lie. So we did try to tell someone but that onesome didnt help us. My mom also abused us with physical abuse and mental abuse. She treated us like we were my dads mistresses. She hated the girls of the family and always told us. She would tell us she never wanted girls.The last time my dad tried to touch me I said something….. I told him to get off of me and tried to yell. he never touched me again but without me knowing he started to molest my little sister. The day I decided to leave was the day he gave me a black eye. I ran away!
I escaped the abuse and to this day have a bad relationship with my parents. My kids dont understand why I dont want to visit thier grandparents (they live a state away). My kids love them but I will never allow them to stay the night or to be alone with them . I have so much hatred for them. I hate my mom for not protecting me from my dad. and I hate my dad for doing what he did to us. He not only abused us but abused my mom and that made me think this is the way life is. I got into a relationship and let the guy hit me. I truely blame my parents for the way my life used to be. Now I live far away from any abuse and my kids are happy and abuse free. the cycle of abuse stops here. My dads parents abused him and he abused me but it will not continue. I have made a promise to myself to never allow abuse in my life again. My husband of 12 years has never put a hand on me or my kids and I will make sure the lives of my Kids, grandkids, nephews, and nieces are abuse free too!!! I wish this life on no one! Thabk you for giving me the chance for the firs time in my life t say something and not feel scared!!!!! thank you!
I am now 31, but between the ages of around 10-15 I was molested by my grandfather. I didn’t know what to do and I thought speaking out would get me in trouble. It started out with him giving me oral sex and making me do the same.It led to me thinking that this was what all kids had to do and eventually thinking that this was what I was supposed to do. At one point I had written about it in a journal and it was found and I was questioned and my parents didn’t believe it happened and to this day still don’t. I’ve never said anything else about it to anyone else but my wife and a few other people, but this is a huge thing for me to say something. To all of you out there, speak up, and say something. It won’t go away until you do. The sooner you say something, the faster you can start to heal. If you can’t talk about it alone find a friend or some sort of support to help you go through it all. The main thing to remember is that it isn’t your fault and you aren’t alone. No one has the right to do anything like this to anyone.
I wasn’t molested but i was raped when i was 11-15, (i am 15 now) i thought i was so cool because i had an older boyfriend when i was 11 (he was 15, i developed much, MUCH earlier than everyone else and i did not feel my age.) i decided to tell him that i did not find myself attracted to him, i had realized i was a lesbian. he didn’t take too kindly to it. he started hitting me and in his words “forcing me to like guys.” he completely took over my life, i got in so much trouble for him, he would cut my arms and make it seem like i cut myself, i was hospitalized three times for it, put on medication i did not need, and the medication made me gain over 100 pounds in three months, (pretty much, i went from a size 8 to a size 20), i am insanely uncomfortable with body, with myself as a whole. when i’m out with friends i’m constantly looking behind my shoulder, my friends like to joke around and sneak up behind me, i once turned around and punched my best friend in the face not knowing it was him. i do not trust ANY guys, the only guys who i speak to are my cousin and my gay male friends, i see him when i go take a walk to smoke a cigarette and i have panic attacks. =/
My name is Michele and I am 40 years old. I have grown up with all of the feelings that you girls have. I was molested from a family member from the time that I was 3 till the time I was 12 when I became pregnant with my daughter.
I had her and gave her up for adoption when she was 2. I just wanted you girls to know that it gets easier with time. You will never forget but it does go away. The pain and hurt only goes away if you tell……
Thank you for talking out.
Michele
First off I want to say thank you Courtney and Alexa for making foundation. I wish that I had this opportunity when I was 16 to see that there were others to talk to. I was 16 when I spent the night at my aunt’s house. Her husband came into my room and touched me. He left and then came back. I was so afraid. I didn’t tell my mother for awhile. When I did tell her she acted as though she believed me, but she never took me to press charges. She would never let me tell my aunt. She told my aunt and she didn’t believe it. My relationship with my mother wasn’t like most people’s so I moved out shortly before my 18th birthday. After I graduated I just put everything behind me. I had never talked to anyone else about it.
Then, I get a call one day almost a year later from my aunt and she tells me that her daughter was also molested by her husband when she was 12. She said that she is divorcing him and building up a case against him. I was so sick to my stomach for not even thinking about asking my cousin if it had happened to her. My aunt apologized and said that she never thought he would do something like that to either of us. My cousin at this time was 14.
It has been three years now. We would get a good start on our case and then the guy would get a new attorney. Then the case would get continued b/c the new attorney would have to review the case. He has done this numerous times.We both really want him to be a registered sex offender so that parents around him would know to keep the children away.
In between all of that somewhere my mother decided to write him and his attorney to say that I was a liar. My own mother who I had not seen in a year and had trusted at points in my life did this. I have not seen her in awhile and she refuses to let me see my brother who will be 18 this November. I have no idea where they are. I hope that one day I can find my brother.
I am now 22 years old and ready for this to be over with, but I refuse to give up. He deserves to be punished as well as any other person who molests,rapes a person. Thank you again for developing this site.
My name is Courtney, I’m 13 years old.. and it started when I was 8 years old.. I found my strength to tell when I was 13… I will be 14 on March, 17.. and I have to spend my birthday in court testifying.
I was terrified when I told… I didn’t want my mom to know.
It was my stepdad. Which made it hurt all the more. Its been about three months since I’ve told someone, and its still hard. But I want girl or guys everywhere that keeping it in will make it worse.. I know. Its really hard. I told my aunt because she’s my best friend. And she understood. I found out that it happened to her and my mom. And they’re always there now. Even my older sister got this from my stepdad. It really hurts you but not as much as bottling it up. Have strength. I did. And I know things will get better.
I applaud any child or adult who is willing to share their stories about being abused. I know how hard it is to speak those first words and how much pain and suffering you go through before you are able to tell someone. I know because it happened to me. There was no one to tell and sadly the abuse continued for many years. It began as sexual abuse and then continued as physical and verbal abuse centered around sexual comments about my body. I was horrified, embarassed, and humilated about what happened and believed it was my fault and my bodies fault.
I have been blessed with a second chance at life. I now have people who listen, who are safe, who love me and who believe what happened wasn’t my fault – I was just a child. They are helping me truly believe that also. I am 50 years old and am finally claiming my body as my own. We all deserve to be comfortable in our bodies and use them in a way that builds us up. I deserve to be proud of myself, my body, and that I am a survivor!
Tell someone and keep telling until someone listens. I now wear the stronger now bracelet not only to send the message but to remind myself of how far you can go. I hope my story helps someone else reach out for help. It is never to late for a HAPPY LIFE!
When i was younger about right around the age 9 or 10 that is when my step-brother who was about 13-14 started molesting me. I always thought it was ok so i would kiss him back let him touch me. It continued till around the age 12. He would touch me even when we were in the car but my parents never noticed it. One day my older brother who was about 16 went outside and seen through an open window what we was doing came in and said what were we doing I was so scared because I thought it was normal and he said that we better not ever do that again. After that I would always have night-mares because as i got older I would say to myself how nasty I am for doing that. I always wanted to tell my parents but the only person I ever told was my best friend, even now at the age of 17 I really want to tell my parents but I don’t want to mess up my family. I like to drank alot to hide the pain that I’m feeling and I feel like I’m addicted to sex. I don’t know what to do, one thing that i really want to do is confront my brother about this but i don’t know how to.
Hi .
I’m an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse which started when I was about 2 or 3 years by my grandfather and lasted until I was 9 years old. My childhood was taken from me and I was left with emotions of fear, anger, untrust, and self destruction. I finally worked through my abuse at the age of 44, with an awesome therapist. I have since founded a non-profit organization called PAWWS to Heal which offers animal assisted therapy for abused and physically disabled children. Animal assisted therapy is considered alternative from of therapy so to have therapist get interested in the healing power of animals has been quite challenging in this area. our website is pawwstoheal.org.
Thank you
Toni Schriver
My name is Sandy:
I am 52yrs. old. I was molested by my uncle for many years when I was
a small child. Like you I could not tell my parents. It took me until I was in my twenties. By that time, I had been in therapy for a number of years and had been spent 4 weeks as an inpatient in one hospital and then sent for another 4weeks to Highland Park, IL, they told me they were experts there, (they weren’t.) It was in this hospital I decided to tell my parents. I was scared to death. When I finally told them, I thought they were going to bust out laughing, but that quickly turned to anger. My dad told me I was crazy, that nothing like that could never happen, my mom just shrugged her shoulders and followed my dad. He was pissed off because he drove all that way just to hear crap like that. I was left sitting in an empty room all by myself curled up in a chair. I believe the fact that my parents didn’t believe me hurt much much more than than the actual molestation itself. It was never spoken of again in my family. So I went through the years suffering severe depression, trying to find someone that could help me to no avail.
I must empathize that I was born in 1955, so my sexual abuse began in the 1960′s. At the time I was searching for someone to help me (1975), I don’t think it existed. I do not believe therapists or psychiatrists for that matter had any type of training in this field back then.
Almost 5yrs ago, right in the town I live in, I found the most awesome wonderful place called “Freedom House.” It was always a safe haven for
domestice violence victims. I came to find out it has a wonderful program for sexual assault victims. I has one on one counseling for adults and teens and also group couseling for both. I have been going for almot 5 years and the difference in me is night and day. The first they taught me is that I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor.
One thing I have to say to anyone who has been sexually violated. It DOES matter what therapist you choose. Take you time and select one that is a specialist in this area, or get a referal.
And remember, you are not a victim, you are a survivor!
Hello, I am a 44 year old woman and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about what happen to me when I was a child. He was my mothers’ boyfriend and had been living with us for a while before he started molested me. My mother worked from 11pm to 7am and he would wait until everyone was alseep. He would tell me everytime that if I told my mom, he would kill her. This went on for a while. When possible, after my mother left for work, I would climb out of the window and wouldn’t come back until it was time for my mother to come. I started doing bad in school, running away from home, getting in fights, drinking and getting to know our police department very well. Thank god they knew my mother. They would call her and say ” hey (her name ) we have Natalie again, do you want us to bring her to you or keep her here until you get off ? she would say, keep her “they would never put me in a cell, just in a room with a bed.” Finally, after a while and my mother not knowing what was going on she had had enough. The courts had assigned me a case worker put me in a foster home until a court date. On one of the visit from my case worker she ask me what was going on at home , I told her nothing of course because I was scared this man would hurt my mother. One day after dinner my foster mother and I was talking and she told me a story, she said you know Natalie I was just like you when I was young, always in trouble, always worried and scared. I said, what did you have to be scared of so young? She started crying, I started to cry, she said Natalie, I was molested when I was a little girl, just a few years younger then you but back then no one spoke of it, just like now, people don’t speak of it. I told her what happen to me, she put her arms around and we cried together, then she got up and called my case worker. My case worker came over the next morning and we talked about what happen, she said that she needed to get in front of the judge because in 2 days I was suppose to go back home and she didn’t want that. The next morning my case worker had us in court, boy was I was scared. My mother had to be there and I had to tell the judge my whole story and in front of mother. The case worker was hoping by me telling my story to the judge that he would allow me to stay with my foster mother and get some kind of counseling, that didn’t happen. I went home the next day. I have to tell you, I wanted to run away again but I didn’t. My case worker came to pick me up the next morning, took me to her office where my mother was waiting and she took me home. On the drive home my mother said that when he ( his name ) gets home from work we will sit down and talk. That whole day, I lived in fear not knowing what was going to happen. My sisters and brothers were happy to see me and I was happy to see them. In the back of my mind, I wondered if he messed with any of my sister, which later I came to ask them and said no. At 4:00pm he came home, my mother called me into her room, they were sitting on her bed ( I can remember this like it just happen) she said tell him what you told the judge and me yesterday. I started to cry and told my story, of course he denied it to my mother and he looked at me and with my mother in the room he told me, your mother still works at night and one night I will kill you. Well, you can best believe every night when my mother left, I climbed out of that same window. Always in trouble. At the age of 16, I meet my daughters father. He was 18 and was moving to Oklahoma to live with his father, he knew what was going on at home and even threathen my mothers’ boyfriend, he said Natalie, come with me to Oklahoma. So,one night when my mother went to work, I packed whatever I had and the next morning I was on a airplane. No one knew where I was, all I knew was that I was safe. About three months later I got pregnact and was going to get married but because I was 16 I needed my mother to go infront of a judge and have him some sign some kind of papers. So, I called my mother. I said mom, I’m okay, call off the police, I’m pregnact and I’m going to get married, I need you to go the court house and get some papers signed by the judge. She ask me where I was and I told her. I ask her was he still there in the house and she said yes, I started to cry, I said “how can sleep in the same bed, make love to man that has done something so terrible to your own daughter” I told her ( and I meant this at that time) if you die today, it wouldn’t phase me at all and I meant it. Well, I got married and a month after my daughter was born my husband was killed at worked. Can you imagine all this happening to someone before they are 18. My mother flew out to Oklahoma as well as his, my mother wanted me to come back home but I told her as long as he is there, that is not my home. Six months later he was gone and I moved back home, believe it or not it was much better for me. One day I was in my room and someone was knocking on the door,I kinda glance out the curtain just a little to see who it was, can you believe it, it was him, my heart started beating fast, I started sweating and crying and ran to my room. I never opened the door. My mom said who is it, I said I don’t know. Then she went to the door. I just stayed in my room. She said that he just came by to tell her that he was getting married. All I could think about was any kids he would have especially if they girls, would he do to them what he did to me. Years later my mother finally met a good man, I thank god for him because I don’t know if it was him or what but for the first time my mother and I was able to sit down and talk about what happen to me, she cried, that was the first time my mother cried for me and what happen to me, she apologize to me and she is still apologizing to me till this day. My mother and I have the best relationship ever and if something was to happen to mother now, “IT WOULD TEAR MY WOULD APART”. For the girls out there, if this story sounds familiar and someone you love is being threathen if you were tell that someone is hurting you or molesting you, please tell someone, anyone. Never ask yourself “WHAT DID I DO? DID I DO SOMETHING TO DESERVE THIS? OR THIS IS MY FAULT” You did nothing wrong. Just keep telling yourself that.
The abuse followed me into my next marriage. He was mentally, physically, verbally abusive. I wonder, does it stop.
Dear Courtney & Alexa,
Like they always seem to say, ‘everything that goes around, comes back around again’, but 66 years was a ‘long time waiting’ for some of us. And I’m quite sure, a lot of our older family members (mothers, aunts, cousins and grandmothers) are still holding deep secrets today of abuse from long ago, of one form or another, because of the the horrifying effects it will have today on all their family members.
Living in my own space as a 5 year old, suffering from 2 abusers (father & brother both), terrified to tell anyone about it, as life would become Hell for the rest of my family, as my father threatened me all the time. A terrible traffic accident happened to me caused by all the trama I was going thru. Doctors thought I was suicidal, so they tried phyotheraphy on me with my parents there. I always have had a strong constitution and never sought drugs or alcohol to appease my hurts.
Coming home after spending 2 years in the Army, (had to secretly sign up without parents knowing), once again, my father molested me. In the service, seeking long desired affection from another woman (to replace some of the soft love that my mother didn’t know how to give out), I discovered I was a Lesbian. Which led me to believe, was caused by my hating men, from dominating my body as they wished. But, as science has declared, it is in our genes..
Years after my father passed on, whenever my mother and I discussed the abuse, she would always tell me ‘you never went without food or clothes, did you?. ( my father died at age 46)…….. I realize that back in those years, telling was like, talking to the wall and the pain anyone suffered from trying, wasn’t worth it.
Now, going on 70, being in control more than I really like (protecting my emotions), I wish there was more outward help for any child, anywhere, that looks hurt, shy, untrusting even with their guardian standing alongside of them. It seems to me, that their eyes show there is something wrong.
I truly hope this is the year ‘Abuse will start to be vanished forever’.
God Bless you two gals for being ‘The Starters’.
i was molested and raped by people i trusted and am not over it yet. the first person was a cousin and i could believe it cause the favorite cousin,the one all the other cousin likeand trusted.i was 7 when he started molesting me and stop around nine.Then years i found out that he had molested others.but is really sad that he himself was molested,i couldn’t believe it. But forgive him yet cause if it was happening to him why he turn around and hurt me it’s not right. Next is a my friend’s cousin it was halloween and we all went trick or treatin, we get back to my house and leaves for while. and i was alone with him cause he was giving me looks that made me feel uncomforted.Then next thing a know he was on top of me.Yes he raped me and believe it happen to me and tell anybody for years.And lastly from when iwas 11 to 13 years old a family friend molested not the regular touching kind but touching me and forcing me to have sex with him. I know what you all are thinking it happen again thats crazy.WELL at the time i was going emotional stuff with school,kids were picking on me.I used talked about but i was wrong to go to person but was so depressed cause of school and the other stuff that happen to me.But my found about this this time cause they caught him in the act, they put him out and other stuff.But no charges wre made against any of them, i don’t if i should press charges now cause am 25 now.I still probelms and getting help, i don’t if it’s enough i sometimes have dreams. i need support but i’ll be okay.
my name is tia. when i was 9 and 10 years old i was sexually molested by one of my bestfriends dads. it all started one day on are way back from church and i was gettin out of his car and he started to kiss me. his wife told me to just ignore that cause all dads kiss little girls. so i thought it was ok. he continued to kiss me when i was over there. then one night when i was 10 i was sleepin at in his daughters room with her and her sister. i was layin on the bottom bunk and he came in there and took the blankets off of me. he pulled my pants on and put 3 fingers in me. he kept askin me if i liked and i said no. so he told me to follow him . . i followed him to his room and he put me on his bed. he then took my pants off again and did the same thing. i started screamin and cryin and he told me to relax that this is gonna feel good. i just layed there cryin and he told me that everythin was ok and not to tell anyone. he told me to go back to bed so i did. i told him i wouldnt tell anyone and i didnt for 6 years. one day i was havin a bad day and i told one of my bestfriends. i regret holdin it in for that long but i am so glad that i finally told. theres a chance that nothin is gonna happen to him because no one else has came foward yet but i pray to God every single night that a child will come foward and say he raped them too. I just want everyone to pray and ask God please. And to any boy or girl that is readin these stories . . If you have been raped or molested . PLEASE COME FOWARD! you dont know how many lives you could save. Thank you for readin my story
I was not molested by any one. I was raped by a person who I met through one of my old best friends, I was told that he was a trustable person… or so I was told. I was unfortunately under the influence at the time. I was under age so I felt like I could not tell any one without being looked down upon in more ways than one. I regret not telling any one but I couldnt even imagine where to start with telling some one my story. I did not know his name, he introduced himself as the nickname he went by. I still have only told one person, my boyfriend of 6 months. The only reason I am even sharing my story one ‘strongernow.com’ is bacause of the impact you guys had on my through montel. I hope my story could help someone else too.
I’m 16 now, and i live in Everett, wa.and i have been through 3 things in my life that have made an effect on me and have made me the strong person that i em now.
Between tha ages of 5-7 i had lived in Neabay, with my mom, brother and his father. i also had my grandpa and grandma and her son living near by.her son Aaron was about 16, and several times i remember he had touched me sexually.and i was scared to tell anyone.and still havn’t told any one besides my present boyfriend.
Another thing close to this is when i was 9.in snohomish on a visit to, my lil brothers, fathers house, and he had sexually touched me.this only happend once, i told my mom a few years later,when i was 13.which i was scared to do, being tha fact he was always in and out my brothers life.
for years i tried to block this out.
Something that added to all this when i was in 8th grade i was skipping school, in seattle.and i had been raped.
a few monthes later i had a miscarriage.i was so scared to tell anyone till a few monthes ago when i found out about one of my step sisters getting raped by a coworker.
the only people knowing this is one of my cousins and my present boyfriend.
With all this i’m to affriad to tell the details of whats happened.
Brandi,
Do you have any suggestions on how I can get my daughter to tell her counselor what her father did to her? It is important for her to tell for her own health as well as the termination process of his parental rights. You can email me at freshstart2@frontiernet.net.
I’m very proud of you girls for coming forward with your story, you have most likely saved many other girls and boys that are going through the very same thing right now, congratulations on your needed courage.
I was molested as a young boy for several years. The man that did this was convicted 2 different times and did serve time, here in MN we have the strike 3 law. I have no doubt he will do it again and these people need to be taken off our streets. It makes one cry.
God Bless you for what you are doing and keep it up. The only thing that will end this is more shows like Montel.
Blessings,
John.
I can’t believe how many children do not tell. I was 8 when it started. It lasted 4years. I trusted my friend and her parents but boy I was wrong. He started off slow with just hugging and holding me in his arms and I knew it was wrong but he said it wasn’t. He was very slick with everything and made me believe what he was doing was right. Only because my father never hugged me or showed my compasion so I was confused and never really knew too much about what was right and wrong. He got to as far as rubbing me inbetween my legs. Then I moved and my teacher in 8th grade made me feel uncomfortable around him I’ve seen him touch other childrens butts. Boys and Girls. I told myself it he ever touched my like that I would tell. My last day at the school he grabbed my wrest and pulled me toward him saying let me give you a little spanking. It happened infront of the whole class yet no one say(they were too busy talking to each other). As I pull back he grabbed my butt for better gribbing I guess and I didn’t want anything to happen to me so I punched him three times before he let me go. I was afraid that my mom wouldn’t believe me and my dad would kill these two men. I finally told my parents when I was 15. Now I am 16 and yet these men are still running around.
Hey we are 11 & 12 and have been sexually assaulted by Angel’s stepfather. I told my mom a few years back that one morning he had walked by and lifted up my skort to see if it was a skirt or not. Mom and dad spoke with her stepfather and mom and said that I was just trying to get him in trouble which was not true. 2-3 years later Angel started telling me that her stepfather would make her perform oral sex. Shrotly afer he did the same to me the only difference was that nobody would be there when he did that to Angel. I had told my mom about the stories and she said to have Angel to come talk to her. When I told her she said “Oh, I was just joking to see what you would do.” I told my mom that Angel was just joking and my mom knew something was wrong.
One night after we had just gotten back from a carnival Angel called and asked me if her jersy was over here, it was and so her mom came over (with angel) to get the jersy. When they got over there was a tear in the jersy. Then Karen (angel’s mom) said “That is exactly why we don’t let Angel stay the night over here because stuff like this always happens.” Then my mom stepped up to the plate and said “let me tell you what happens at your house.” My mom (at the time) was only aware of what Angel had said. My mom told Karen what she had been told by me. Not knowing if she had been making it up because she was mad at her stepfather or if is was true. The truth was revealed! Thankfully he was told to leave the house that night! One month later (July) he was arrested and taken to Williamson County Jail and was sentenced 40 years. He will be in for at least 20 years and 20 years of perole. Thank God for his arrest and thank you girls for sharing You’lls story with my friend and I.
Thanks for everything!!
sincerly,
jaymee and angel
I was molested as a little girl once by my brother. I blocked it out for years until I had a concussion. I have since dealt with my precious daughter who is now almost 9 but was molested during visitation by her father. He pled guilty to child abuse w/4 years probation. This was because he failed 2 lie detector tests. I am trying to termintate his parental rights. The DA only spoke with my daughter 10 mins total in 2 years. She stated my daughter changed her story from the time she was 5 to when she was almost 8. She stated my daughter told her when she was 5 that she was penetrated (exact word according to the DA) by my ex-husband’s finger and then when she was almost 8 she recounted her statement. I told the DA my daughter did not even know the meaning of the word. The DA or really she was just an assistant DA w/o much experience I found out after everything. I did not know of the Plea agreement until after it was a done deal. There was a No Contact order but my ex-husband went and had it overturned on Sept. 17, 2007 w/o my knowledge. I was furious. He does have 4 yrs probation but that is it. If anyone knows how to help with this feel free to post here and I will respond. If you want me to email you please leave your email.
I saw your story on Montel today and I want to say I’m proud of you girls for coming forward about what happened to you. I’m 24 now and I still havent told my family about what happened to me.
From age 5 to age 16, my father abused and molested me. Then when I was in Junior high, my vice principal made sexual advances towards me. I was depressed because I was scared to talk to anyone. I didnt think anyone would believe me. I didnt even tell my own mother because I was scared that she wouldnt believe me. So for the longest time, I kept everything to myself. For years, these events have haunted me. I’ve tried to commit suicide three times because of the pain these events have caused. I dont know how to tell my family what happened.
I guess the reason I decided to share my story here is because I feel like I wont be judged here. Seeing your stories on Montel gave me hope and enough faith to one day finally tell my family.
Thank you both so much. You two are my heroes.
~Brandi
My name is Brandi and I was molested from the time I was 9 until I was 12. It was by my best friends grandfather. I tried to tell the only person I thought that would believe me: My best friend. She didn’t though, she just told me that he would never do something like that but I knew he would. I was afraid for her and her 2 younger female cousins. I finally told my mom but she didn’t really believe me either, not until she saw the way he looked at me. And then she tried to tell HER best friend, my best friends mom. My best friends mom got mad at her and her that she wouldn’t babysit me anymore. That was the last time that I talked about that.
Then when I was 13 I started going to a support group where I met a guy named Nathan. He was 18 at the time, he was really cute, and really sweet. We started hanging out and then one night he called me and asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with him. I said yes and next thing I know we are on our way. It was about 11pm that the movie started so not many people were there. No one was in our theatre. I knew it was somewhat of a date just because of how he was acting a couple days before that. That night he raped me in the movie theatre’s.I NEVER spoke out about that until our 1 major convention for my support group. When I spoke about it, my very good friend Jason knew who I was talking about. He got mad and wanted to beat Nathan up. I knew he really cared then. He hasn’t beaten Nathan up but Nathan had 2 girls, not including me, testify against him for rape just 6 months after it had happened. He was in jail for 3 years and has just been released February of ’07. I haven’t seen him and I don’t know what I would do if I did.
Just 2 years after being raped by Nathan my soon-to-be stepdad started his horrible divorce with his soon-to-be ex-wife. It lead my stepbrother into hating me. Before he hated me, we were really close. The only thing he tried to do to me before that was kiss me which he claimed was because he was drunk. One night after words were exchanged between MY mom and my stepbrothers mom, my brother snuck into my room through my window and raped me. This is the first time Ive spoken out about that.
To Alexa and Courtney I am amazed by your courage and bravery. I know that when I told 300 kids I was raped by a fellow support group member I was crying the whole time. And afterwards I had a ball in my throat the size of a baseball just waiting for me to cry it out. I don’t let it get to me anymore and I hope everyone that posted on here has too. Now I am somewhat of a counselour to all who need it. I get calls everyday from friends asking for advice or just for someone to talk to.
I saw the show on Montel today. You two should be so proud of yourselves for standing up. I was pleased to hear about your Foundation. I too was molested when I was 13. At that time, I just thought it was because I was infactuated with the man, who was 27. He was a friend of the family and a member of our church. Not till about 15 years gone by, had I realized what had happened. That he preyed upon me. The years in between where some hard years for my family. I became very rebelious, got mixed up into drugs, and had many failed relationships, even a marriage.
This man, I don’t think has ever been confronted and still is out there. It just makes me sick to know that the predators are out there preying on our young children. I now have a wonderful husband and a daughter that is 2 and has Downs Syndrome. I just pray that God will guide me and fill me with the knowledge to keep her safe as she grows up. No one, boy or girl should have to endure the pain that comes with being abused by a sexual predator. God Bless you in you Foundation.
Dear Alexa & Courtney:
I have not been molested, but I’m afraid if I wouldn’t have seen your stories on Montel, I might have let it get to that point. I got my first job over two years ago when I was 15. I had two great managers for the first year, and when the company I work for was sold, they quit and unfortunately, I got a new boss. The man came off as “creepy” to me, and after a few months he began saying I was his favorite, and he would make weird comments to me about how I looked, or he wished he was younger so he could have me. I told another manager about this, and he said he personally knew him and not to worry; that this is just his personality and he’s very flirtatious. I was 16-17 for most of this. He began getting very close to my face with his and he’d whisper he loved me. It creeped me out. Then other people that worked with me would tell me things that he would say about me. The whole time, I had a very disturbing feeling about it and it seemed like all of my co-workers and other boss didn’t really notice it, even though he had said some things about me to them. I sometimes had nightmares that he would be chasing me, and I was always upset and in bad moods before and after work. Everytime I saw him, I got sick to my stomach. I became very disgusted with him, and tried avoiding him as much as possible. But it seemed he would always find a way to say something to me. I saw your story and realized I had to speak up before anything else happened. I told my mom and a teacher and I am currently fixing the problem. I thank you very much for speaking out, and your stories helped me to realize that things could’ve gotten worse. I give you both all of my respect for speaking out and trying to help others.
I just the montel show i think it is grate what you girls are doing. I was 8 years old when molested and i was 13 when it finaly stoped a couple of my friends knew what had happen to me and helped me tell someone my life got a little better and i was not so scard any more I am now 26 years old and I wish I had something like this when I was younger keep on doing this grate work and for any young girl dont be afriad to tell someone
my name is jacque and well i was sexual abuse as a kid and well i was afraid to speak up. My mom married a man she though was going to support her and her kids well come to find out he was sexual abusing me but when my mom found out she was mad at first but not mad at me she was mad that she didn’t know about it.But he was not finished with that he came back and beat up my mom and i thought he was coming for me but my point is i went to court for it and he only got 24 year and well i just don’t think thats right if you kill a kid its the same as taking a life for a kid to. Through out this how think i had support my mom and my whole family and if it wasn’t for them i would not be here today because they all gave me the strength to keep on going. I have a vocie i try to help kid that just like me.
Misty C: I read your post and want to suggest you tell the school board that what the gym teacher did is called “Grooming” behavior, and it’s what molesters do to set children up so they can molest them. I would think about refusing to allow my child to be in his class. You could also think about organizing a public protest at the school, which might embarrass them enough to take action. It is terrifying if they are considering allowing him to remain there and it is lucky that the story came out before he went any further. I would even consider switching schools if they reinstate him, who could ever trust the school to make decision in the children’s best interest after that? There are many ways you could organize the community to make your voice heard. Please do everything that you can to call attention to this. People who molest children belong in jail in order to protect the innocent public and it is a compulsive behavior that is VERY hard for them to control. They are usually very hard to spot because they are often very charming people who know how to get everyone to like them so they will be trusted and above suspicion. I just want to encourage you to TAKE ACTION before anything else happens.
As for everyone else on this page, it is really striking how many people have been sexually abused. I think the last statistic I am aware of is 1 in 3-4 women are sexually abused during their lifetimes, and 1 in 6 men. I just want to encourage EVERYONE to say NO loudly and over and over. Keep telling adults until someone helps you, and if no one will, call the police. Your teachers are also legally required to report it to the police if you tell them someone is abusing you. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, and you DON’T have to accept being abused. Children, as well as teenagers, are NOT RESPONSIBLE for the abuse that happens to them, it is the ADULT who is responsible. We are taught to listen to adults and to be cooperative, but this does not count when someone is hurting us…then we have to say no as loud as we can, and call attention to what is happening so it can be stopped. Please everyone, stay strong, know that you are valuable and beautiful human beings who deserved to be treated with respect, and that no one deserves abuse. The shame should belong to the abuser, not to the victims.
You are loved, and you deserve to be safe.
I just finished watching montel and wanted to tell my story and hope that it gives faith to many children to come forward if something has happened to them.
I am a 31 year old woman. i am married with no children of my own. when i was 4 my oldest cousin started molesting me. By the time i was 9 his younger brother started. i never told anybody but i always felt they had to know and didnt care. Around age 10 or 11 my uncle(thier father) started touching me and trying to stick his tounge in my mouth. I said something to my cousin and best friend and the time(his youngest daughter) and she told me her dad was just like that. that he did that stuff all the time. i then asssumed that he probably did it to both his daughters as well but i never mentioned it again to anyone. then when i was 14 my male cousins that did this were both married and had kids and i was afraid that it would happen to them but i still believed that no one would believe me. i was out with my friends one night and was upset and finally told them and they promised not to say anything. i finally told my family after i got married and was 20. again i am now 31 and my uncle is now going to court for touching his granddaughters from both sons. i now wish i had said something when i was young so those poor girls would not be going through this. i just want to say dont be like me be like them and come forward. dont let other inocent children get hurt.
Wow! I just saw your story on the Montel show. I was molested for 12 years by a “elder” of my former church group. My family life was very unstable, and my brother was living with this man and his aunt to try to give him a more stable home. I spent long hours at their home because my brother was there. I began to look at this man, at the time he was 21, like another older brother. We played cards, read books, etc. together the 3 of us. He began giving me more attention and I ate it up because I didn’t have a lot of adult attention. I had been taught from a very young age about “good touch, bad touch” but because I was desperate for attention and I trusted this church elder I didn’t think anything of his attention. He began to give my back rubs. I didn’t think any thing about it. the first time his hands brushed my breasts I was sure it was an accident. so I said nothing. then it started happening more often. I knew it was wrong, but I was desperate for attention and didn’t want to risk losing it. Also I was thought to be a trouble maker so I knew that I would not be believed over an adult and church elder. Soon it began to get worse. More frequent incidents and more graphic. I was terrified of what he was doing I knew it was wrong, and I hated myself because a part of me liked it.
At one time he even pulled me aside and told me that what “we’ were doing was wrong and told me that I should not allow it to happen and that if any one else found out that he would get in trouble. At that time I knew I could not tell anyone ever. I lived like this for 12 long years. At the end I was 24 and I knew that if I said anything at that time that I would be blamed because I was an adult and had not stopped it.
In the end I did tell, when I did it opened a huge can of worms. As it turned out I was not the only girl he was molesting, but only one of 5. In the end charges were filed on the account of me and his then 15 year old daughter. He basically got a slap on the wrist because I could not face testifying at a trial. He did end up getting 7 months jail time and has to register as a sex offender.
I wish that I had never gone through any of that, but since I did I want to be able to make a difference for other kids out there.
I wanted to thank you girls for standing strong and speaking out about what happened. Everyone of us that does stand up for our rights and speaks out make the world a better safer place for everyone.
Hi,
When I started getting molested when I was in 3rd grade by my stepfather. I was in gymnastics and when ever I was going to a competition he would come into my room in the middle of the night. I was really confused at that age I wasn’t sure what was going on. I started sleeping in layers. I went through this for 2 years. I was in 5th grade when some of my friends told me to tell my D.A.R.E. officer. After I came out my stepfather had a restraining order against him. This was a very tough time as my mother didn’t believe me and called me a lier for years. Nothing ever happened to him, and he moved back in. When I became a freshman I was cleaning my room and I notice that one of my posters had a hole in it. I took the poster down and there was a hole in the wall that went from my bedroom to my parents room. I showed my mom and this was when she finally started to believe me. It is really hard not having someone believe you at the time that you need them to. You feel unimportant and you start to believe that you made it up. Since then I was raped. I was in WA. working when my coworker had found a group of guys that were staying in the same hotel as we were. She wanted to hook up with on of the guys and asked me to go with her so she wouldn’t be left alone. She left me alone with the other guy and she never came back. That is when this guy abused me.I reported it to the police and nothing happened to the man that did it to me. I am tired of people taking the courage to stand up and tell about there story, and no one believe them. I went through years of counceling to get through this. I know have a very supportive husband. I am thankful that you are here to help and support those young men & women. I wish I would have had this type of support when I was going through this.
When I saw your story today, I had to write. How unfortunate you had to endure what you did. Fortunately, you had someone who believed your story. When I was five years old our family pediatrician, the man who delivered me and my sister began molesting me. This was years before another person had to be in the examining room. He was an “upstanding” member of our community and attended my church, so every Sunday I saw him seemingly faithful and devout to the Lord, all the while hiding his dirty secret. It sickened me…..the abuse continued until I was seventeen. I told my mother early in my teens, but she didn’t believe me. This was in the early 70′s and this sort of thing was not commonly discussed. I was taught to be always very respectful of all adults and therefore was hurt and confused, why didn’t my own mother believe me?. I experimented with drink, drugs and sex. To this day I still struggle. Thankfully, I have a loving husband who understands as best he can.
I don’t know if he ever abused any other of his patients and I can’t confront him since he passed away years ago. I had constant urinary tract infections and other things I can’t describe here. I am fortunate I have the child I have. Would you have any links to other sites for adults who still suffer and can share their stories? Many blessings on your bravery and please continue the good work you are doing.
hi my name is jackie since i saw the show i wonted to tell ya’ll my story i way 11 years old and my mom had a live in boyfriend named paul i thought he was great he was so sweet to me and my sisters but when the would tickle us his hands would slip. and we never really thought much about it. he always wonted to be close to me since i was the youngest but one day i asked him to leave me some money for a basket ball game the next day and that morning he came in my room and put his hands up my shirt and i pushed him away then he wispered in my ear that if i told anyone or stoped him that he would kill me all i did was cry when my sister shared a room with me i just layed there while he touched me. and i never told anyone until after my mom passed away and then i told my family what i had gone though… but now i am a very stonge person and i thank you two girls for being here for everyone
my name is tiara and im 16 years old. ever since pre school i had a bestfriend. im not gonna say her name but i love her so much. i was always with her. we went everywhere together. we loved goin to church together. her dad treated me like i was his daughter . . he bought me anythin i wanted and took me everywhere. one day when i was 9 he started kissin me and his wife told me that all dads kiss little girls so i thought it was normal. when i was 10 years old i stayed all night with her and he came into the room where i was sleepin and pulled the covers off me. he told me to lay still. he then started touchin me down there and started makin weird noises. i had no idea what he was doin. he then told me to follow him to his room so i did. he layed me on my back and told me to be still and to just relax and i was gonna be ok. he then stuck 3 fingers in me and asked me if i liked it. he did it for about 10 minutes. i then started cryin and he hugged and kissed me and said i was gonna be ok and to keep my mouth shut. he told me to go back to sleep. i was 10 years old when that happened. i didnt tell anyone til i was 16 years old. it is one of the best decisions i have ever made. its so hard to tell because you are scared to death but it is worth it. if there is a girl or boy who has been molested or raped then please tell someone. i know your scared. i know exactly how you feel but it is worth it(:
thank you for readin my story
I saw your story on montel today. And it dose help to know that other people have gone though the same stuff I that I have been though. I think it is really awsome what you two grils are doing. You really are makeing a differents in the world.
I never told anyone what happened to me in the almost full extent untill recently when I told my mom, since then i’ve been dealing with it and have found out i’m stronger than I ever thought I was…my dad began raping me when I was 5 and recurted my uncle and there friends, it lasted untill I was 11. Amongst that and the psyical abuse I never that i’d live in fact, even tho I am alive and enturnally greatful for this fact, it is a wonder as it seemed my dad was bent on ending my life in more ways than one.
But I survived in spite of it all, and have a some what healthy life after an early start on drugs and drinking. It never ceases to amaze me that I surived and so many other people have to…and i’d just like to say, to anybody going through it, and even after it stops, don’t let it take over your life, grab contorl and know, no matter what, you’re not alone in your struggle and life is worth living. There is no need to bear this stuggle alone.
I was molested when i was about 8 or 9 years old by my grandfather. It happened on 3 different occassions, he touched my boobs and made me touch him below. He tried to go furthur but i use to push my stomach out really far to try to prevent him easy access, i would try to pull my hand away but he wouldnt stop. I remember exactly what i had for dinner those nights b/c gramma came in and he immediately would stop until she left. I remember the wallpaper and every event as if it was yesterday. I never told anyone until one day i busted out crying to my sister and i just said “Grandpa is disgusting” that is all i had to say to her and she knew, b/c he had done it to her and I had no idea. she is older than me by 4 years. I never knew it but that was the reason why she always stuck by my grandmother. She also tried to protect me from him and i was too scared to realize it. I thought i was alone and that no one would believe me.My Grandmother remained in denial and didnt speak to my family for 6 years. He went to prison for 4 months and then died of cancer. My Grandmother then got cancer and my family decided to try reaching out to her 1 more time. Since he died she became involved in the christian faith and she admitted that she felt numb the entire time and that she does know it happened. she is again in our lives and survived the cancer, she is so thankful that we gave her the chance to enter our lives after she abandoned my family when we needed her support the most.I do feel stronger now, although it is a very unfortunate experience that a person can never forget , it did strengthen the communication with my family. We went through very rough times with it as it affected my entire childhood, kids at school read the newspaper and saw his last name and asked me what happened n who he had molested (b/c i was under age they couldnt use my name in the paper)facing my peers was tough i tried to act like he wasnt related to me. Since it happened I have always wanted to help make a difference so that others dont have to go through what I did and I thank you girls for taking action against it. i am in college now and I have come to realize how many other girls and guys too, who have been molested or raped. I hope that by making our stories heard that it can help someone else have the courage to come forward so that they can be healed of the horror that becomes so many peoples reality.
Hey my name is Erin and i live in Delaware. i just got done watching your show, and scene your website. When i was 11 years old, my mother at the time was searching for our lost grandfather. Well at the time eveerything was going fine and we found him. Everyone in are family were very excited to me our grandfather and grandmother. Everything went well for the first 3 months. Then further down the line are grandparents invited us up for the weekend, whcih my mother droppd me and my sister over their. Well the first night nothing had ever happen. The second day my grandfather was sitting downstairs and he asked me to come and sit next to him so i said ok. i said that i wanted a blanket because i was cold and he then theirfore gave me a blanket. well my sister was sitting upstair and my grandfather then started touching in my private underneath the blanket and i moved his hand away then he did it again and at the time i didnt know what to do. i felt uncomfortable but i didnt know what to do, i said something to my sister and asked her if pop pop has ever touched her and she said no, so i left it a lone. The next day came and poppop took me and my sister to my aunt debbies house which is my poppops daughter. While my sister was outside with my aunt he asked me whats wrong and i told him i felt un comfortable, he said well dont say anything and gave me money to cover it up.
Well later on down the line he continued to do it and i felt really uncomfortable, at the time i was 13 he had violated me several times prior. i started to comfront my mother about it and they did not believe me because i was always starting to get introuble and lie about things to get me not to go places so they thought i said thesse things to not go or because i didnt want to go. he has giving me prolly over 300 dollars from 11 to 13 to coveer this up.
One weekend my lil cousins went up their he had did the same things to them. They started to see that this was true and started to pursue it.
My grandfather is probally 86 now and it just now going to court for all the problems that he put me through, and my lil cousins. i am happy but not because i have to deal with this for the rest of my life and their isnt a day that i dont think about this situation and it upsets me every day this happen 10 years ago and i think about this all the time and, i have a boyfriend that i have been with for 2 years and i have trouble trusting guys and i dont want this to keep affecting me.
Thanks for hearing my story.
Erin
i was 8 years old when my brother first raped me and then i used to do it over and over i was scard to tell so when iwas 11 years old we woulkd let hid friends have fun with me it hurt so bad i did not like it i would cut my self i would cry and cry his freinds would actully pay him to do me or to make me blow them i was 14 when i told then he went to jail then he came back and he did it 3 more times but this time i was not stupid i was not going to stat with pain and have my mouth shut so i had i camcorder in my room for 3 days then it happend so the next day i called the police and showed the tape so now he is in prison 2 years later istarted to date i meet this boy named jonathan i love him we r gonna get married he was and is there 4 me i love hime but i want to try to work on cases and catch men like that i would never want this to happen to me or any one ever
dear girls
i saw you all on montel and u inspired me to tell my story when i was 14 i was raped by a family member i kept it a secret until got married thank god my husband was understanding i just wanted to let u guys no that u are not alone in the terrible nightmare that is being molested by someone they trust
Courtney and Alexis,
Today when I turned on the television Montel was doing guest updates. I saw your story and my heart went out to you. Especially since you have turned a negative into a postive. When I was little my father molested me. For years I told no one because I was afraid of what would happen to my family. I am the oldest of four children. At the age of 15 and 16 I really started to push him away and that is when the abuse started for my younger sisters. Our father spent seven years in prision for what he did. When he did go to jail it was still our fault that he was there.
My father is out of jail now, and I have no contact with him. I have two beautiful children who will never know him because of what he did. I haven’t decided yet if I want to let them know what happen to me as a child.
I really just wanted to praise you for your courage. I wish I would have known about a program like this when I was growing up. I don’t know if they had one or not. I would really like to help. Please keep up the good work!!
I am now 46 years of age and I was molested and then raped by a woman when I was 9. I alwasy thought that I was alone. I was one of the ones who did not tell and my life was hell until I finally told by then I was 30. I have since grown stronger and have a zero tolerence for this type of behavior. Thank you for sharing your stories.
I saw your story today on TV. I think it takes a lot to come forward and tell your stories. I hope you girls can help many other boys and girls come forward and show these criminals that they can not silence others like us. I was molested by two neighbor boys that were 16 years old and 17 years old while I was 4 years old. I do not remember what took place besides in their yard they had this really cool play house that was left there by the couple that lived there before them. They asked if I wanted to come over and play in it. Normally, none of us kids were allowed to go over there. I was swinging and there was no one there to tell them or me no. So I went over to their yard to play. I got inside of the play house and was hit in the head with something. When I was about 12 years old I found a book in a box that was about good touch and bad touch. I never saw it before and started reading what was in it and found out something had happened to me but my dad would not tell me. I asked my sister she claims I was raped and other family members say no that I was molested. I never understood why I had that memory of going there and being hit in the head until I was 12 years old. That is my story.
Hey girls, i saw you 2 on the montel william show today. What a great story… I love how you girls have made a bad situation into something great. Keep speaking up and encouraging others to do the same. Molestation is not an easy thing to go through and most people try to block it out. Spread the word. We need more “stronger now” women and men who have been a victim of sexual abuse or any abuse in that matter.
If you are looking for more people to help out in this organization, please let me know
congratulations girls on coming this far…
you are not alone.
A SILENT SCREAM by Olivia [last name removed]
she was only six years old when she first was abused
she didnt understand and she was very confused.
why is he doing this, this is not at all right
why does he sneak into my room every single night?
she wanted to say something but afraid if she did
who would believe a eight yr old kid.
years went by and still she said no word
and everytime he came over the molestation occured
it got worse as the months and years went by
everytime she thought about it she began to cry
she needed to tell somebody right away
and she was finally given that oppertunity one summer day
her aunt came by to visit one time
and she told her of his terrible crime
“he went down my pants and up my shirt
how can someone related to me be a pervert?”
her aunt was in shock and had no idea what to do
but she believed the 12 yr old girl and knew it was true
the doorbell rang and the girl was not at all surprised
she knew he was coming over as she was earlier advised.
“please dont say anything, until i figure out what to do”
the aunt replied ” i need to say something inorder to help you”
“i know but im scared , i feel like this is my fault…
i shouldve told someone sooner about this sexual assault”
but it wasnt her wrong doing, it was him to blame.
him making her feel bad was apart of his game.
he played with her head and told her this wasnt wrong
thats why this molestation lasted so long.
the girl said she would take care of it so the aunt said alright
but now at nineteen she blames herself everynight.
she never did confront him of his painful actions
because she was scared of everyones reactions
she didnt want to break up him and his wife
or have him sent to jail for years of his life
she wonders if he thinks that she has forgotten his sin
but little does he know she still holds it within
its something she thinks about constantly
and this young woman will hold onto this memory tightly…
dear courtnyand alixa , when i was 5years old my dads best freinds son told me to pull my pants and underware down so idid i was young at the time he started touching me down there i didnt tell anyone intill i was a couple years older so any other girls out there that this has happened to i can feel your pain it was very hard to talk about but when i saw y,all on the montell show i really wanted to talk about it
katie
Dear young ladies, survivors and future survivors,
I am a 40yr old mother of three. My mother died when I was three and it was at that time that my father had me “take over” my mothers place in the bedroom. This abuse went on until I was ten and got the nerve to tell because of a third cousin I had just met told me her story.
My abuse was very violent. My father was/is a twisted man. He told me that all daddy’s did this to their daughter’s. It was his RIGHT. If my cousin hadn’t told me about her brother-in-law getting into trouble for touching her I may have not told for a long time to come.
After many years of self-hatred I am finally at the point where I have forgiven myself for having such a sad childhood.
Please, tell somebody and keep telling until you are heard.
You can be brave, you can save yourself and possibly other children from years of pain.
YOU deserve a safe life.
Now go tell and then grow up to be happy, centered individuals.
When I was five years old my mom’s boyfriend molested me. I never came forward to anyone. There was alot of times that I was affraid to fall asleep because that would be the time he would come in my room and touch me. I was so affraid to be left alone with him. My mom never knew what he did when she went to the store. He always told me that we would go to Disney world if I kept quiet, and he would take me to the park and play. Then one day he left my mom, his newborn son, and I. He went back to Michigan to live with his mom and stepfather. About a few weeks later we found out that he went to prison for molesting his nephew. I am now 21, and I have been through hell. I dropped out of high school at the age of 18, I started doing drugs and drinking at an early age. Last year, I finnaly had to tell someone what happened. I told my mom and she started crying so much and she called the police to see what could be done and they said nothing could be done since it took place along time ago. I regret not telling anyone but he told me if I said anything to anyone he’d kill my family and me. I also had been to many therapists for different medicines. I just started to build my confidence back up, I am going to classes to get my GED, and pursuing my life dream in becoming an RN. I have been drug free for 2 years without any help from doctors. I quit drinking also. So don’t be affraid to tell someone if you feel that you are being “touched” the wrong way, because in the end if you dont say anything to anyone you will end up like me or worse, it could happen to someone else.
I saw you girls on the Montel Williams show and I thought to myself how I’m not the only one. I was about 8 years old and my mom worked overnight hours I had a 18 year old cousin who would baby sit me and my brother. Well as I slept he would come into my room and touch me, waking me up and making me come out in the living room he would make me do all kinds of things to him. This happened at least 3 times before I told my mom. He never watched us again, I’m not sure what happened but apparently not much. When I turned 14 my living situation wasn’t stable, my mom was on drugs and I was living with different family members and one night the same cousin who molested me, had sex with me a few times, I never said anything because I didn’t have anyone, I was basically on my own. At this time he was 24 or 25 I’m so mad at myself for not saying anything I didn’t even say stop to him i just closed my eyes and pretended that it wasnt happening and waited for it to be over. I was scared I ended up pregnant and I now have a 10 year old daughter by my first cousin. And to this day I never said anything to authorities. I just told my mom what he did when I was a teenager and all she says is “the past is the past” So even know I don’t feel like I have anyone to help support me threw this, Yes I’m still suffering because he’s still out there. So if I can go back I would of just yelled to get help and I wouldn’t of had a baby at 14. Believe it or not when he found out I was pregnant I never saw him again. Everyday that goes by I just want to tell but I always wonder what my family might think. Still need help.
I was just watching you guys on Montel and have also been a victim of childhood abuse myself.. I give you guys lots of credit for saying anything at all, as I know it is one of the hardest things to tell someone. From as long as I can remember until the age of 13, I was sexually molested by my brother. Because it started when I was so young, it was almost like I thought it was normal and ok… as I grew a little older and my brother continued to molest me, I realized that it was not right.. even after knowing that what he was doing was wrong… I was scared to tell.. Now being almost 20 years old, I live wit this everyday of my life. I tried to reconsile with my brother, as he now has a family and a son. The words that were spoken to me were the most heart broken. I think I have finally come to the realization that my brother deep down inside will always be the same person.. I look at you guys and can just imagine how hard it would have been with someone you trust everyday. I hope you guys can overcome anything that life may bring you. I have a two year old son now and pray to god everyday that this will never happen to them… it’s awesome what you guys are doing and that you’re out there telling your story… KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK
When I was 14 I was molested by a man that my step mother worked for. I had come in once a week for the summer to help around his office. He showed me lots of attention and because I didn’t have a lot of friends I enjoyed the attention. I was ok with coming to help until the end of the summer when he started to touch me. The first time that anything happened he didn’t touch me but instead he made a comment about my breast. I didn’t think anything about it at the time. The next time I came to the office he took me with him on the errands that he ran and we stopped by his house. He said that he had just forgotten something and that he would only take a minute. I went in with him and things happened that even 14 years later I have a hard time talking about. He didn’t ever touch me in the office. This happened two times and then I quit coming. He was a very respected man in our community. After this happened I was very fearful of telling anyone because of his status in our community. Three months after this happened I finally told my step mother. She immediately believed me because he had made a pass at her. My father on the other hand did not believe me, which hurt very much. My step mother and I contacted HRS about this situation. I had to tell the story of what happened to five different people. The last person that I told this to was the district attorney. Two months later the attorney contacted us and said that there was not enough evidence to prosecute this man. I was very upset at the time. I am so happy that I told the story even thought nothing was ever done because it would have killed me if I had kept it in. Also because of me opening my mouth, if anyone ever comes forward with a story about this man touching them, then they may be more likely to press charges on him. If anyone that reads this is going through something like this please tell someone. Don’t keep it in.
Friday, January 18,2008
Iwas watching the Montel show and listened to Courtney and the other girls story. i can kind of relate to it. My daughter which is 5 years old. Back in October another parent contacted me and told me that her daughter and my daughter had been taken into the gym teachers office away from the class and given a snack for being a good little “Princess” The teacher gave them their snack he had for them then told them to lay down on the couch and covered them up with a blanket and told them that it was secret and that they couldn’t tell nobody even “Mom Or Dad”. He made them pinky swear not to tell and that was a secret room also. There were about 20 to 30 children involved in this and they all say the say thing. I would just like to get some advice because the School Board might let him come back they say no wrong criminal doing found. I can say one thing if it wasn’t for me it would still be going on I turned where I had to the law. But need some help . Thanks
Dear Courtney and Alexa.
I just watched your updated stories on the Montel show, and it inspired me. When I was around 9-10 years old, and my parents had been seperated for a long while, I was molested by an old man, around 70 years old. He was like a grandfather to me, and I adored him. He always took my friend and I to get ice cream and things, and we’d go to his house, and watch TV, and listen to music, and just be kids.. But one day, when I went over there alone, as I gave him a hug, before I left, he reached down and grabbed my butt. I thought nothing of it. He apologized for it. I went over the next day, and he touched me in my private area.. I told him not to, But he said “It’s okay,” and kept doing it. I had never been told any different, so I allowed it. It continued for a while, And he told me never to say a word to my parents, or any one else. He even had a little “code” for when I was on my period, I’d walk in and say “Code Red.” I had never told anyone about this, and one day when my little step sister came over to his house with me, he grabbed her butt. She told her mom, Who was my step mom, and she told my dad. He immediatly asked me If that was all that had happened, and seemed angry with me. He made me feel as if it was all my fault, and I was a terrible person. He never told my mom about it. He never told anyone about it. I had told my best friend about it.. And she didn’t know what to do. I told her when I was about 13 or 14, and he had stopped doing it when I was around 11. To this day I haven’t seen him again.
Last year, I was talking to the guy I liked on the phone, and he asked me “what is your deepest secret.” It took me a long time, But I broke down and told him. I was scared, and upset, and visibly shaken up. He was too. He said it made him sick to his stomach. And he made me tell me mom. I woke her up around 11 as soon as i got off the phone with him, and told her. She was upset, and crying, and just held me while I cried, telling me it was okay. Then she put it into perspective for me. What if that was my baby cousin who he had done it to, I would want to tell. She said he could have been doing it to someone else, and deep inside, I knew she was right. She said we needed to tell someone, but would wait until the custody battle with my father was over, since I was so stressed out and everything.
When I called the boy back, he tried to cheer me up. He told me that I was so strong. He ended up asking me out, and we are still going out to this day, almost 5 months. He has been so careful with me, realizing that I was scared to get close to a guy, and I love him so much for that. He’s been so patient, and hasn’t looked at me any different.
I’m still, to this day, ashamed. I feel like I should have told someone sooner, and known better than to let someone touch that prescious part of me. We haven’t gone to the cops about it, yet. I don’t know if we will. For all we know, the man could be dead.
It still makes my boyfriend sick to his stomach. He said if he ever saw the man, He would honestly kill him for what he did. It doesn’t bother me anymore as much as it used to, or upset me, but I thought i should share this story. Keeping it all inside does NO good. I was always so upset. So scared. But I told my friend, and I felt better. When I told my mom, A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
You two are both an inspiration. Thank you, so much. And GOD BLESS YOU.
I WAS 6 YEARS OLD WHEN MY PARENTS GOT KILLED AND MY GRANDMOTHER AND STEP GRANDFATHER GOT LEGAL GUARDIAN SHIP OVER ME AND MY BROTHER, AND SISTER. FROM THAT AGE UNTIL ABOUT 12 YEARS OLD, MY STEP GRANDFATHER MOLESTED ME. SOMEONE WHO I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE ABLE TO TRUST AND THAT WAS TO PROTECT ME WHEN THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE. I AM NOW 39 YEARS OLD AND AFTER RECENTLY HIM GETTING REMARRIED AFTER MY GRANDMOTHER DIED, HE TOLD SAID HIS KNEW WIFE IS PREGNANT AND HE IS GOING TO BE A FATHER. ALTHOUGH HE IS 73 YEARS OLD AND SHE IS 60 SOMETHING, IT BROUGHT BACK TO MANY MEMORIES FOR ME NOT TO DO SOMETHING. HE IS NOW IS JAIL SINCE NOVEMBER AND HAS BEEN DENIED BAIL TWICE. ME, MY COUSIN, MY NEICE AND SISTER HAVE ALL FILED CHARGES AGAINST HIM. HE IS NOW FACING 27 CHARGES FOR LEWD AND CRIMINAL ACTS UPON A MINOR. I HAVE REGRETS, THE BIGGEST IS THAT I WAITED SO LONG TO DO SOMETHING, AND THAT ALL THE OTHER VICTIMS COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED FROM HIM. MY PRAYER IN LIFE NOW IS THAT ANYONE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS, WILL HAVE MORE COURAGE AND SUPPORT THAN I DID. I JUST ALSO SAW THIS ON THE MONTEL WILLIAMS SHOW WITH THESE 2 GIRLS AND I THINK THAT THIS SUPPORT GROUP IS A GREAT ADVANTAGE FOR CHILDREN WHO MAY NEED IT.
I saw you girls on the Montel show as well, as much as it is needed that more young girls stand out like you girls.
I am also a surviving of Molestation it was the hands of my Father. A Preception of a young girls father destroyed by his sickness. I and my sister abused in this state, at a young age I was supported by my mother helping me, answering any question I had about what happened to me and why. To this day unfortunetly my sister does not believe anything happened to her.
I always peed the bed when living with my Parents, and once My Mother moving out with me she noticed right away I stopped peeing the bed, that day she fealt I was safe and going to be stronger.
Me having dealt with I know I am a Stronger, Smarter person, I now how to deal with situtation put in my path in life. Having a person not dealing with what has happened to them, my sister has become a very selfish person, hurtful and confused woman. The demons that are still inside her are always seeping out, her life has become to alcohol and drugs as her comfort.
My father was never charged for what he did to me, as a young child it is very hard to come forward as you say; and to have the Justice System believe him over a child is very disturbing. At the age of 7 my Mother moved me out of that situation and My Sister and Brother stayed with him, he was able to brain wash both children into believing I was lying to better my life.
15 years later he was charged with molesting 4 young girls, and that was the wake up call to my brother and sister realizing I was not lying after all, now they have a higher guilt for letting their younger sister having only My Mother supporting and believing in me.
I of course do not hold any of this against them, as a child you are not to know how to support their sister and having a Father they trusted telling them something different.
Me being 25 years old today, he has still not admitted he molested me and deny’s to the Justice System that he even has 2 daughters. I was asked to give my statement to the Police to support these young girls, I was more than willing to help them get on with there lifes with putting him behind bars. He served 2 yrs and is now out on parole.
I will never understand the Justice System putting him away for those young girls but still believing him whenever he denies that he molested me. I just hope they are not done yet.
Even though he has not served time for me, he has been served with something much worse was me telling him I already have a father you are not.
I don’t have any problems telling my story to others, when they hear me call him by his real name and not as my Dad
Courtney & Alexa, I just saw you on Montel. My heart goes out to because I understand everything that goes along with being molested. I was sexually abused by the man I was told was my father (turns out he adopted me when he married my mom when I was a baby) from the time I was 5-ish until I was 19. I understand why you didn’t tell anyone, even if it’s hard to put into words somehow. Congratulations on having the courage to speak out about your abuse. I have ordered several of the bracelets on the homepage. I hope it helps you and your cause!!!
I had been sexually abused and raped by my father. I was about 8 years old when i was mollested. When i turned about 11 my younger brother and I had to go up to visit my mom for the summer in Michigan. One night i broke down and told her what had happened to me. She believed me and took me to the local law enforcement to try and get me help. Well my dads side of the family called my a liar and got the catholic church which we attended involved and the priest and nuns also called me a liar and said the my dad was a good man and father and he would never do this. My fathers parents had a good bit of money nad they covered everything up and they tried to throw my mother in jail. I was put back to live with my father and it continued. When i was 16 my dad began to rape me because i had a boyfriend and my father would tell me i was a slut and i would do stuff with my boyfriend but not him. After the first time of telling i was scared to tell for the second time. My mom knew something was wrong because i was never allowed to do anything around my dad and i could hardly even talk to her on the phone. This went on for another 2 years and i am now 18. I finally told my best friend what had been going on and she had always knew that something was wrong but she didnt know the background. So she took me to the county sherriff office and they found evidence and arrested my father. The grand jury found 34 counts. 17 rape and 17 sexual abuse. I moved here to michigan to live with my mom and stepdad. I am now awaiting the trial. But my fathers family is still trying to cover it up and they are trying to get me arrested but everyone now knows the truth. I think this organization will help a lot of girls with similar issues tell the truth.
Hello Girls,
I saw the Montel show today, I could not believe that the ya’ll had your dreams shatterd this way. I myself felt like yall if i told alot of people will hurt and by keeping inside my family and sisters would be safe. But much to my suprize they were being touched too. So when I seen the show I was struck right in the heart, I would like to thank you girls for starting this foundation and for speaking up and out! Yall really make a differnce I wish in the 80′s someone believed myself and my sisters. Today I am a mother of 3 two are girls but all three know to speak up and out about any unconfortable thing does not what it is touching, word anything! the other thing I taught them is Your self worth is more important than anyone, me included. I’m so sorry men and women still do these thangs, but I very HAPPY YALL HAVE THE STENGH TO DO ALL YALL DO FOR HELPING ANY FUTURE VICTOMS! THANK YOU! Mary
I just happened to catch the tail end of the Montel show you were on. I know what its like to be abused. I am 22 now and was abused sexually for nearly a year of my life when I was 11. I have never come forward with this.
My mother’s boyfriend raped and molested me with my mother’s knowledge. She may not have known when it started but when she did know her words to him were something to the effect of not when I’m home, and be careful she may tell someone. I never told anyone because I was afraid of what would happen to me and my younger brother. The man who did this to me would threaten my little brother (he was only about 6) and kick my cat just to keep me in line. I was always afraid. At the time my older brother was living with my father so he didn’t even know about it.
My mother was also emotionally abusive to me and to my two brothers. We are lucky it rarely came to physical abuse from her, anyone who has to deal with both… I don’t know how I would have dealt with it. She would not let me talk to my father I think it was a fear that I would find a way to leave her and go live with him. She would tell me lies that my father wanted nothing to do with me and didn’t love me.
My younger brother has a mental handicap and a speech impediment which I believe is due partially to my mother placing a glass of turpentine near her glass of soda when he was a toddler. He drank the turpentine.
My older brother to cope began to act like my mother, becoming mentally and emotionally abusive. He also like her eventually started using drugs.
When I was 17 I finally talked briefly about what had happened to me and what was going on in my mothers house, I didn’t do it because I wanted to my brother and his girlfriend were helping me to try and find a way out of her house or so I thought. We went to the cops because we found meth in my mother’s room. I just couldn’t stand it anymore I thought I was going to break into a million pieces. When we were talking to them we could tell they didn’t believe us, one cop even said “You don’t have any proof, we need pictures or something” suddenly my brothers girlfriend said “she was raped”, I didn’t even know she knew, I never even talked to my brothers about it. The cops cleared my brother and his girlfriend out of the room to talk to me. I told him some because I felt trapped but I didn’t tell him much. He said he’d have to talk to my mother about this and when I told him she knew about it when it happened and she had told me we couldn’t go to the cops his response to me was “No mother would do that to they’re child”. That was the end of it. I was heart broken.
I do believe the cops told my mother we had come in and what we had said because she was waiting for us.
Life was worse after that. My brother made it out to be all my idea and my fault. He acted like everything was normal.
I took off for the week of my 18th birthday and packed up and moved out on my birthday. I showed up on my fathers door step that day and he helped me get on my feet. I’m glad I finally got up the courage to get out.
I’ve been married for a little over a year to a wonderful man who is helping me deal with the day to day issues that comes from abuse.
I want everyone who has been abused to know that there are others out there who feel what you feel and want to help. That there is someone out there that would understand.
Don’t give up.
I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through anything that I have.
I first want to praise you girls for speaking out and starting this website. I don’t know if you have to be a young lady to post your story here. I’m 44 years old and was raped repeatedly for about a year from age 3 to 4 by a friend of the family. I could never tell anyone what was going on because I was told that if I did he would kill my parents. My mother caught him in the act one night, ( he was living with us at the time.) and made him leave. I didn’t know then that she never told my dad about it. When I was 16 my aunt and I was talking about her daughter getting raped at a young age, my dad was sitting there at the table with us and I told my story to them. It was then that I found out that he didn’t know. He was so horrified that he just got up, grabbed his coat and was going to head to the airport to find this guy and kill him. Luckily he didn’t go. I was so traumatized by the abuse mentally and bodily. Effects of the rape were that it injured my female organs and I could never have children and I still have problems with relationships. I just want to tell everyone that no matter what an abuser tells you, if you speak up the first time it happens you put the power in your hands and then it will stop. If they tell you that it is a secret between the two of you they are lying. If you speak up right away you can also be saving so many other girls. That is what makes heros. I thank you ladies and admire you for your strength.
I saw you girls on the Montel Williams Show and it brought me to tears! I too am the survivor of childhood abuse in my case it was at the hands of my grandfather. I have conscious memory of abuse from age 2 through 8 with bits missing here and there. When I first found the courage to speak up about my torture I chose my own mother to confide in. At an unfathomable age I describe what my abusers own words were for his plans with my body in the future. To my horror she did nothing, and the abuse continued. At age 8 fight or flight reaction kicked in and I ran. Please other readers do not misunderstand my words. I ran because I had to…this is not something I am telling others to do. I finally found an adult who listened and ended my live nightmares once and for all. My message to others looking back now as an adult is TELL TELL TELL no matter what TELL…and if that first adult doesn’t listen or doesn’t help, find the courage to TELL ANOTHER… keep telling till someone listens, till someone helps. The guilt will eat you alive if you dont take that first step to end your torture. There is help out there to talk even if those closest to you won’t or can’t listen. Dont give up. TELL YOUR STORY BECAUSE IT MATTERS! My telling may have saved many of my cousins and other relatives from the same fate and if I have saved just one more child from one more day of “bad touches” then my pain is not for nothing. I beg you…TELL SOMEONE.
Dear Girls,
I am so proud of you for having the courage to speak out and tell your story.
Here is my story
I was molested by my step-cousin from the age of about 6-14. His mom was my baby-sitter. Our entire family lived on the same road, attended the same church….we were always together. He was like a brother to me. I didn’t tell an adult. I would mention it to a friend at school from time to time. I somehow told myself that he must care about me or he would not do these things. I was afraid and confused. As the years passed it just became part of life. This continued until I was 14 and became pregnant. He then fled to another state. Even then I covered up the truth. I let people think that we just a sexual intercourse a few times and I refused to talk about it. Now my focus was on the baby. I thought that I could just be the best mom possible and things would be fine. (might I add, my daughter is beautiful!) So I began 9th grade as a mom. I was so fortunate to have a mom who supported me and helped me with my child. I finished highschool. So yes, I did night feedings, diaper changes and homework. So for all the girls out there….YOU CAN DO IT…DON’T GIVE UP. When my daughter was about 10 or 11 we had a death in our family which brought him around for the funeral. It was the first time I saw him since he found out I was pregnant. I was nervous, it was hard….his mom would not admit he was the father of the child. I found the nerve to talk to him and he admitted that she was his child. I was so glad to finally have him admit that. I really wanted him to be the Dad he should have been to my daughter but I was so scared, could / would he do the very same thing to my own child. That was a risk I couldn’t take. I contacted a friend of mine who is a GBI agent and told him my story from beginning to end. He ran a check and found that this man had just got out of prision….satu rape of a 13 year old girl that he befriended at church. I also found that had I known this and spoke out in court he could have served many, many years. I finally told my mom the entire story….it was hard. The older I am the more I realize he was the bad one…not me. I wish I had told everyone sooner. I am now 31 years old, my daughter will soon be 17 years old. She has just this past month met her father for the 1st time. I don’t know the story of Alexa’s mom but on the show I could really feel her pain and worry. I worry about my children and hope and pray I would be able to know if this happens to them. I have always wished I could reach out and help girls that have been in this situation. If you all know of programs and websites for people my age please let me know. Keep up your mission ~~ I’m so proud of you both and the wonderful parents you have. I plan to buy one of your bracelets and wear it with pride…….that is a message near and dear to my heart. God Bess you!
Here is a quote from Robin Roberts of ABC:
Make Your Mess…….Your Message!
Tracy
If you are a reading this please speak out, TELL. When someone is abusing you they will say anything, they can even somehow make you believe they care about you. Please don’t be afraid to tell because of the pain that you think your family will feel, they will feel better to help you.
I admire what you girls are trying to do. All children need protection and know that certain touches are wrong. Not to be scared about telling when it happens. I myself have went thru hell pretty much my whole life. From the time I was 7 to 19 I went thru multiple molesting and being raped twice. It first began with two of my cousins. They would come in the room I was sleeping in and I guess you can explore my body. That didn’t happen long. But I never told anyone. I just left it in the back of my head, I was scared that if I did tell who would believe me. One of them only did it one time, I told him to stop and he did. The other one done it to me atleast 3, before he stopped even after telling him to stop the first time.
By the time I was 9, I would stay over my aunts house on regular basis. I always felt safe around her and Keith Williams. One day my mother and I was in the process of moving to a new home. My aunt was giving us some rugs and curtains. My mom sent me over there to get them. Everyone was gone except Keith. I asked him where are they. His words “I believe their in the walk-in closet in our room”. So I started going back in to the room, steped in the closet, before I could turned the lights on in the closet he shut the door behind me and I turned around, my thoughts where before I turned around he was out in the room playing around trying to scare me, well I was wrong when I turned around he was right in front of me, grabbed me, started trying to kiss me on my neck rubbing my breast and I kept trying to fight him off. Finally I got away from him and ran for the door, as I got to the sidewalk he came to the door, said I think she left them in the trunk of her car. He set me up for it. I didnt even bother looking in the car, I was affraid of him I thought maybe he would try to sneak me in the trunk of the car. What is so said about this, I have only told my mother and my sister, b/c he did the same thing to my sister and my aunt and the rest of the family never believed her, told her she was dreaming. Come on what child would dream that kind of stuff, and now he has two grand-daughters that is left alone with him. They are 2 and 8 months old.
After all that, my mother and I deicied to move back to Indiana. While we was there mom met this guy, seemed really nice, he had two kids, April and James. I feel in love with him, I looked at him as a second father. After he started staying with us more and more often things began to get weird. It all started off with a grab of the breast which I thought he was just playing around b/c his words where “look you are starting to sprout”. Mom started working night shift so he would stay at the home with me to watch me, I was only 12. When I would go take a bath, I would hear footsteps coming down the hallway, wouldn’t think anything of it just that he was getting something out of their bedroom, until I never heard them go back down the hall. I could hear breathing in the crack of the door. So I would shut the shower curtain. When I got out of the tub he had ask I thought I heard you shut the shower curtain why did you do that. So I knew for a fact he was peeping threw the door. I didn’t say anything except I was cold. I grabbed my school stuff and told him I was going to lisa’s for the night. All of this was only the begining. When I would go to bed, I would wake up with him having his hands down in my pj’s with yes penatration. Everytime I would stay home “James “Jimmy” Drummond” would wake me up by touching me. I would avoid the house as much possible as I could. During the time also I was dating this guy, he was 4 years older than me so I thought I was so cool dating an older guy. His name was Adam Smith. After dating for about a month we was left alone at my house. We was watching some show on the tv. Then He started to kiss me and rub on me, I told him to stop, but no matter how much I fault he wouldn’t stop and that night my virginity was taken with out my consent. I didn’t tell anyone I was so scare. When he left that night all I did was cry. When he got to his house he actually had the nerve to call me to break up with me lol. I wrote about these in my diary. The sad part of this time is that my mother found my diary and read it. She believe about Adam but She thought I was lying about Jimmy, just so they would break up. For a whole year I went thru all this molesting with out anyone believing me. Finally my dad got settled in and I moved in with him. Only to find out that years down the road he didn’t believe me either b/c he had called my mother when I told him all this and she told him I was lying. Can you believe that my mother didn’t even call the cops about the rap.
Finally my mother deicided to move back to KY. I went with her.
While we was here in KY, she sparked with an old flame of hers. He never did anything to me. But his dad which was like 60 I was 15, would come over while they where at work wake me up by rubbing my back. Nothing happened for the longest time. Til Ronnie told me to go get the mail from Zeb Ousley’s (Ronnie’s Dad) house. When I went there I be darn if the same thing didn’t pretty much happen to me like it did with Keith. He grabbed me started kissing, grabbing my breast trying to grab me between the legs, I got away from him ran to the car before I got in the car he yelled out the window, ” Don’t you want to make some extra money”. I got in the car and took off to moms crying, when I got in the house Ronnie and mom both talked to me, and they couldn’t tell Ronnies mom b/c of her heart. Lets just say tho it never happened from him again.
I ended up loosing alot of weight b/c all of this has happened to me. I was always so depressed. By the time I was 16 I was a drug addict. Was like that for 3 years. When I got to the age of 19, I had a child but I didn’t want to take the resposiblites of having one. So my mother took care of him mainly. I was going out every single night. Riding my 4wheeler and getting drunk, on the weekends I was hitting the bars and resting on Sundays. I was dating this guy for awhile, Tyrone Stallard and when he couldn’t go out with me or come over I would hang out with my ex who became a good friend of mine Alan Mullins age 34 at the time. Alan and I only dated for a couple of months never slept together nothing, just always partied together. One night when we was out at the bar, he snuck some kind of drug in my drink and also fed me like 5 pills. I woke up 2 days later with flash backs coming back to me. When I went to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and notice my neck was covered in hickes I was very sore all over. My flash back where showing me everything, him dropping me back off at the house but no sex. Until a week later one of our friends told me that she tried to stop him, he carried me into his room while I was passed out, and he didn’t come back til a couple of hours later. I asked her was he the only one that was in the room the whole time I was passed out. She answered yes. So I got raped that night also. I was really stupid not reporting him, b/c years later he was having to get married to a 16 year old girl b/c she got pregnant. I ended up getting dumped from Tyrone b/c he thought I cheated on him.
Now in life, I am happily married, been sober since that time I was 19, I am 25 now, have two children and take very well care of them both. That was the last toll for me. I had to straighten my life up take my responsiblities and grow up and becareful who I get around. The reasons I told the full names of these men is that I want everyone to becareful. Thank you for taken the time to read my story.
Please be aware of these men.
Keith Williams———Harold, Ky (Hurricane, Ky)
Adam Smith———–Warsaw, IN( Last I heard he was in the army)
James”Jimmy”Drummond——-Pierceton, IN or Warsaw, IN
Alan Mullins——–Spurlock, KY ( Printer,KY)
Zeb Ousley———Hueysville, KY
Dear Courtney & Alexa,
I saw your story on the Montell show the ther day and thought to myself
what courage it must take to go on television and share your story of molestation with the world. However, it is people like yourselves who encourage people like me. I too have been molested and have choosen to heal and help others and tell anyone who will listen until this madness is stopped. I applaude you both. I will be purchasing a “get stronger” braclet. I wish you both continued blessings and support for your vision.
Thank you.
Margaret
I was just watching the Montel Williams show, and that is how I found this web site. I am 33 years old, I was molested by a family member when I was about 10, 11, or 12 years old. My memory is all messed up. Ive been to counsellors, and they figured out why I am the way I am, depressed because of past abuse. I didn’t realize that was why, people don’t understand that people who are molested, face a tremendous amount of ups, and downs, in life. Memories, crying spells. I feel so much when I hear from people when they say the have been sexually abused. I understand…. I am so protected of my child, I tell her about what happened to me, I keep nothing from her… When she was 7 years old, she said ‘mommy, i have to tell you something, please don’t be mad at me.’ I said ‘what baby?’ she told me a little boy in her class, made her put her hand down his pants. I cried! Never in my life I said I would let my little girl, go through what I did. She did!!! Oh my god! The things that I wanted to do, were out of this world. Its a good thing I didn’t do them. I would be in jail right now! I felkt it was my fault to when I was younger. I was scared to say anything, I didn’t tell, anyone until I was 17 years old… I am so glad that she came to me… I am so glad she didn’t keep this from me, after everything happened, I took her to my Dr. Things are well with her…. and I hope ‘i wish’ this will not affect her later on in life… I just wanted to put my feedback on this…..
Dear Courtney & Alexa. I saw you brave young ladies on the Montel Show and wanted to drop a quick note to say I admire your courage in speaking up, and continuing to speak out, about your experiences. :clap:
From the ages of 14-17, I was abused as an explorer scout by an authority figure who was 23 years older than me. When I was 19, I told his superiors what had happened. It was really scary but I’m glad I finally came forward, not only for myself, but for others who may have gotten hurt if I didn’t. I really like the advice from the show and hope others will use it. If someone is abusing you, TELL ADULTS YOU TRUST, “Someone is doing something to me they shouldn’t be doing and I need your help.” And they can make it stop.
I’m sure many people will benefit from A.C.H.E. so keep up the good work and know your efforts are appreciated! Wishing you both, and your families, all the best life has to offer.
I had been molested in one way or another my whole life. At age 3, my mother left my father because he had done inappropriate things to me as a VERY young baby. She then remarried a man with 2 older sons. I’d say from age 5-16 they molested me and I never said a word to my mother. Around age 20 I finally got up the nerve to tell my mother and she reacted angry towards me for not telling her sooner. This obviously confused me and she told my stepfather and he completely disregarded it. At age 22, I married. We were having problems but I kept a happy face. We constantly had friends over and had drinks and music. One night I had a little too much to drink so I went to bed. I found out from one of my good male friends, whom is now my absolutely WONDERFUL husband, that he had had sex with me in front of two of his friends and one of the friends was touching me during the whole thing. I’m not afraid to talk about what happened and I’m not angry anymore. If people ask I tell them the truth about what happened. I’m okay now. : )
when i just graduated 8th grade i had a boyfriend who i had been interested in since january of 2006. Everyone told me he felt the same way so i thought he liked me and wanted to be with me for me. He was older by a year or so. Well the day after graduation me and my friend had set up for some of our friends to have a party for the graduating class. Well some of our friends went and my boyfriend went as well. That night we had fun bowling and just hanging out. Later i found out i had to go home with my friend and she was going to leave early so i decided to say goodbye to my boyfriend becasue i wasn’t going to see him that much over the summer.
Well he told me to walk around with him so i said yes. We walked around the back area where people can park. We started talking and then he began to kiss me which to me seemed normal. Then he started to get a little heaver and it began to worry me but i just thought it was normal. Then he decided to go more in the back where their were some stairs. We then began to talk and he began to kiss me again. I then started to get scared because he tried to get on top of me and i felt odd being there. After a while we heard people coming so he stopped and we decided to walk around some more.
After we heard the people leaving he took me behind a wall where we couldnt be seen very well. He then began to kiss me as i heard him undoing his belt and pants. All i could do was stand there in shock. I couldn’t move or talk so i just stood there while he toched me n kissed me. In a far distance i heard my friend calling me because we had to leave. i didnt say a word and began to try and walk away. I took one step before he out his hand forcfully to block me and said “NO DONT GO.” I then began to fell tears in my eyes. As he was taking his pants off we heard a skateboard and i then knew a friend of mine was coming to look for me.
Scared my boyfriend ranaway as i just stoid there with tears in my eyes. As i walked back my friend asked me if i was ok and i just shook my head like i was. My friend that i was going home with saw me walking and new something was wrong because i has tears in my eyes and i was startled easaly. As we got home i told my friend what happend.
I can honestly say i dont think this is a serioius story but i can say that i can not be the same girl i was before that night.
I do have a new boyfriend now who is tryin to help me get over this problem and fear of mine because just about everyday i think about what would have happend if my friend didn’t come to look for me. I also believe this sounds more of a rape story but i saw these girls on the montel show and i felt like i should tell my story. It may not be like others but it does feel good to have support